Clever Ways We Avoid Our Feelings

We humans are creative when it comes to dodging the feelings we’d rather not deal with.

You know the classics:

• Snacks calling your name from the pantry.

• “Just one more episode” of a show you don’t even like.

• Scrolling social media until your thumb cramps.

• Shopping carts (digital or otherwise) filled with things you “need” but definitely don’t.

That’s the obvious stuff.

But then, there are the sneakier moves. The ones that look like you’re being productive or funny or even caring—when really, you’re side-stepping whatever’s bubbling up inside.

Like:

• Micromanaging everyone in your household (if the towels are folded your way, you won’t have to think about that uncomfortable conversation).

• Drama or gossip (sure, let’s focus on her messy life instead of our own).

• Sarcasm (the “I’m fine” of humor).

• Signing up for yet another course/book/webinar (learning can be amazing… but not when it’s just a fancy way to procrastinate).

• Over-giving, rescuing, helping everyone else, so you never have to sit still long enough to notice what you feel.

Sound familiar? Yeah… me too.

Here’s the thing: feelings are meant to move through us. When we avoid them, they don’t just vanish. They hang around, tugging at our sleeves, showing up in other ways—like tension, exhaustion, or that mysterious crankiness where even the dog annoys you.

Noticing is the first step.

You don’t have to rip away all your coping strategies overnight. (Please don’t. You might end up reorganizing your garage and alphabetizing your playlist out of rebellion.)

Just start by catching yourself in the act:

• “Oh, look at me, organizing the spice rack because I don’t want to admit I’m sad.”

• Or: “Oh, look at me, volunteering for three committees because I don’t want to feel not-enough.”

That little awareness moment? That’s where the shift starts.

So… what’s your go-to avoidance tactic?
And are you ready to experiment with letting yourself feel what’s underneath—even for just one moment?

Here’s a quick way to try it: pause, take one slow breath, and just name the feeling. No fixing, no spiraling, no drama. Just, “oh hey, that’s disappointment” or “wow, that’s frustration.”

That tiny acknowledgment? That’s you practicing.

✨ Until next time—may your feelings move through you, not just around you.