Riding The Wave: Finding Balance in Our Emotional Lives
I was driving by an elementary school the other day. Outside recess was in full swing. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed two boys interacting. I honestly couldn’t tell if they were playing or fighting. As I watched, it felt like they HAD been playing and were now near fisticuffs. (Sand was being wildly thrown!) I thought how interesting it was that an energetic switch could be flipped so quickly.
As I drove away, it struck me that this emotional volatility isn’t limited to the playground. How often do we, as adults, swing wildly back and forth from one emotion to the next? How is that such a fine line? Can you think of anyone whose emotions can turn on a dime? Is there someone you tip-toe around because you never know when they might blow up? Or maybe you have a friend who seems on the brink of tears half the time, for no known reason?
None of this is “bad.” Feeling deeply or having lots of varied emotions is not a sign of weakness or incapability. There are certainly times in life that trigger big, full displays of emotions. But is that how we want to live every moment from day to day? That sounds utterly exhausting.
I will admit, I spend much of my life feeling. I have lots of emotions, and I express them regularly. I’m loud, I’m passionate, and I encourage others to join me—in joy, anger, sorrow and everything in between. For much of my life, I felt like those emotions were completely out of my control. They’d come unbidden and leave when they felt like it (which sometimes felt like ‘never’.)
However, in the past few years I’ve discovered something transformative: feeling deeply is a GIFT. Being human means having feelings. As I’ve learned to stay more centered, even through all the emotions, it feels more like riding a wave. And who doesn’t like surfing? Or, perhaps, watching surfing?? Most days it means living a fuller life with fuller experiences.
When Emotions Take the Wheel
We’ve all been there. You adore your sibling one moment and want to throttle them the next. You’re having a productive meeting with your team and someone really rubs you the wrong way, causing you to lose your cool. Maybe someone compliments you in the grocery store and you almost burst into tears. If this sounds familiar, it’s possible part of you is asking for a little more balance in your life.
Finding Your Emotional Balance
Awareness is the first step. Not shoving down our emotions all day every day is crucial, too. You’ve got to let the steam escape every once in a while. Find some (safe) way to express yourself. Physical movement such as dancing, boxing, and screaming can really help. (Try not to alarm your pets—a pillow works great.) But it doesn’t have to be so extreme. Even a walk outside, or yoga can help release pent-up emotions.
The Hidden Messages in Our Feelings
Our emotions aren’t just random disruptions–they’re messengers trying to tell us something important:
FEAR says, “Keep your head up while walking through the parking lot of Target in the dark.”
SADNESS reminds you that you really care about something. It highlights what matters most to you.
ANGER often means someone hurt your feelings or you were treated unfairly. It’s your internal justice system at work.
ANXIETY might be telling you to prepare more thoroughly for an upcoming presentation.
JOY signals which activities (and people) fill your cup and deserve more of your time and attention.
The key is to be willing to hear the message, take some deep breaths, and exhale it as you let it go. Think of it as going through the mail and deciding what to keep and what to recycle.
The Practice of Emotional Surfing
Remember, this is all a practice. Just like learning to surf, you’ll wobble and fall at first. But with some patience and some grace, you’ll be riding those waves with more confidence every day. The goal isn’t to eliminate emotions–it’s to move with them while staying balanced on your board.
The more you practice, the more you’ll access your joy and ease. Even WITH all those pesky emotions in the mix.
Until next time, Shine Bright, my friend.
