How to Give Without Losing Yourself

December may be the season of giving… but for many women, it’s also the season of gritting your teeth while you wrap one more gift, bake one more batch, or say one more overly-cheerful “of course I can!”

Here’s the truth:
Generosity without resentment = a gift.
Generosity fueled by obligation = self-abandonment with a bow.

We’ve all been there — keeping score in our heads, overspending to “make it fair,” over-functioning so everyone else can relax, or giving emotionally until we’re basically running an invisible customer service desk for the whole family.

And what happens then?
Resentment sneaks in wearing tinsel. Because when you give from depletion, your needs go unmet, others expect more, and somewhere along the way… you disappear from your own holiday.

So, what does giving from overflow look like?
It feels lighter. Freer. More like want to than have to. It’s a warm “yes” that bubbles up from inside instead of the tight-chested one that leaves you sighing in the car afterward.

How to shift into that? Start small.
Before you say yes, pause and check your energy.
Ask yourself: “Do I want to give this, or do I feel I should?”
That one little question moves you from consumption (of your own energy) to creation — of connection, love, and joy.

Need some words to borrow?

• “I’d love to, but I can’t this year.”

• “That sounds wonderful — can we simplify it?”

• “I want to enjoy this season, not survive it.”

And because I love handing out permission slips…

✨ You have permission to give simply.
✨ You have permission to not be the glue.
✨ You have permission to say, “I can’t this year.”
✨ You have permission to choose joy.

You deserve to feel as generous toward yourself as you are toward everyone else.