I’m Not Always Available — And That’s On Purpose

Over the next few weeks, we’re getting a little more personal.

We’ve talked a lot here about boundaries — what they are, how they work, and how to strengthen them.
Now we’re talking about mine.

And today, we begin with some…squishiness.

I’m a coach.
Coaches have scheduling links. You click, pick a time, done.

My goodness, I feel anxious just typing that. 😄

I’ve tried it. More than once.
It did not go well.

I could give you practical reasons (for example, I forgot to leave time for things like… eating). But that’s not really the point.

I tell you all the time:
You do not have to justify your boundaries.
You do not have to explain why something doesn’t work for you.
It just. Doesn’t. Work.

But when I was figuring out how to run a business, I assumed a public calendar was just how it had to be done. So I followed the advice:

Add buffers.
Only open two afternoons.
Pick one day a week.
Just work around the meetings!

I tried every version.

Every version gave me heartburn.

So I turned it off.

Then came scheduling sessions — the back-and-forth texts, emails, the end-of-session “so… when should we meet next?” That didn’t feel great either, so I tried the scheduler again.

Which meant going into my calendar and marking myself “busy” for everything already there… even when I wasn’t sure I’d still want to do that thing ten days later. (Sometimes the problem solves itself. The universe does that.)

I shared the link again.

Nope. More heartburn.
Link gone.

And then the embarrassment showed up — because this is what you’re supposed to do. You’re supposed to make it easy for others. You’re supposed to be available.

Then one day it clicked:

Hold on….. When did I disappear from this equation?

This was someone else’s way of doing things. I’d given it an honest try — several times — and it wasn’t for me.

I remember thinking,
“Does Martha Stewart have a calendar link?”

No. She does not.

Now, do I believe I am Martha Stewart? I assure you I do not. I laughed out loud writing that.

But her reasons don’t have to match mine for my reasons to matter.

So if you’ve ever emailed me to book something– Thank you.
I know you value your time. I value your time. But if I’m going to show up as my best version of myself, I have to do it from a place that is centered and aligned with who I am and what works for ME.

Your turn

Where in your life are you doing something because you’re “supposed to” — but your body, mind, or heart quietly disagrees?

Maybe it’s your work hours.
How often you cook.
How long you stay on the phone with the friend who loves drama.
Or being the permanent morning dog person when you’d love to sleep in once in a while.

This week, just notice.

No big declarations.
No burning bridges.
No making anyone wrong — including you.

Just curiosity.
And maybe one tiny adjustment.

Because every time you honor what works for you,
you’re saying yes to yourself.

And that makes all the difference.