What Happens When You Override Your Nervous System?

I’ve got what feels like a big boundary for us this week: your nervous system.

What? How can you have a boundary with your nervous system?

Never occurred to me, either, but here we are. 😏

I’ve worked with a looooot of practitioners over the years—people focused on physical, mental, and emotional health. They each had their own way of doing things, and I’ve learned something from every single one of them.

I’ve also learned that a method can be wonderful for one person and not right for me. Seems obvious, Alyssa, right?? 😜

I won’t tell you how many decades it took me to figure that out. But once I started noticing how my nervous system responded during appointments and treatments, it became harder to ignore. And more important to honor.

Because I do have a relationship with my nervous system. I can listen to it, or I can override it. And oh, have I overridden it.

Maybe it’s a massage therapist whose work feels so intense that your body tenses up—but you lie there and let them continue.

Maybe you’re working with someone who uses screaming to release emotion. You dread it every time, but you keep doing it because this person knows what they’re doing, right? They’re successful. They recommend it. So maybe you’re the one who just needs to stick with it a little longer… even though your whole system is saying, “Oh, absolutely not.” 😂

Maybe you keep following a practitioner’s recommendations long after they’ve stopped feeling helpful, because you trust them more than what you’re noticing in yourself.

Or maybe you’re at the dentist, and you find out you need a procedure. They have time to do it right now. So you say yes, even though you’re startled and would really like a minute to think.

The dentist may be recommending exactly the right thing for you. You may decide to have the procedure that day. But you get to ask questions. You get to take a breath. You get to notice whether your ‘yes’ is coming from a place of choice—or from the familiar pressure to go along and not make things difficult, or uncomfortable, for other people.

That’s the boundary I’m talking about.

It might sound like, “Could you use a lighter touch?” or “I’m not comfortable doing that today.” It might be, “Can you tell me why you recommend this?” or simply, “I need a moment before I decide.”

What you feel in your body may not give you the whole answer. But it’s information worth listening to before you decide.

You can appreciate someone’s expertise and pay attention to your own experience. You can try something, decide it isn’t working for you, and speak up. Even if you’ve already said yes. Even if it feels completely awkward.

Because if your body is telling you, “This doesn’t feel right for me,” that matters. You don’t have to prove the method is wrong. You don’t have to wait until you’re miserable. And you don’t have to make the practitioner the bad guy in order for you to be able to choose something different.

You’re allowed to be part of the decision about what happens to you.

Even when someone else has the training. Even when their approach has helped a hundred—or a thousand—other people. Even when you believe in their work and their abilities.

You’re the one living in your body. Your nervous system gets a say, too.

Because boundaries are an inside job.

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